I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
