I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
