I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
