the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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