i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
