im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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