is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize