White coat. Heels.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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