The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
