Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
