i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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