Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
