32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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