I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
