god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize