What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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