Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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