you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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