But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
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a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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