I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
