Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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