he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
