I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
