Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
