I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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