ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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