yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
