Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

You're completely useless in the revolution.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.

(407): View more from Florida

Its part of my fall instant classic line.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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(407): View more from Florida

He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...

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(516): View more from New York

I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions

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(314): View more from Missouri

Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.

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(631): View more from New York

We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear

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