Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
