She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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