i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
