White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
