Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
