i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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