The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize