So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
