you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
