Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
