ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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