omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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