Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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