So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
