I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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