why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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