No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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