dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
