who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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