went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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