Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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