Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Panties = found
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
