tell your sister to shave her snatch
Small penises have feelings too.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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