So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
