it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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