ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
