She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
