I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
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I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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