She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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