should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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