did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up under a house in Key West
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize