Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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