My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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