would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
